We serve the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. When I read the Torah, I am fascinated with the way the language of scripture develops. One story will span hundreds of years, and then slow to a crawl to magnify just a few days or even hours. Huge gaps of time and space are between the black letters and those spaces leave room for God to speak – sometimes even audibly!
Lets take a look…
The love story of Isaac and Rebekah has many such spaces. And, when I look specifically for where God chooses to speak into the text directly, the weight of His words find a new gravity in my mind. Isaac was forty before Abraham sent his servant to find him a wife. And, they were married 20 years before she became pregnant with twins. The text says Isaac prayed for his wife because she was barren. When? For how long? What kind of marriage did they have? How long did they try BEFORE he prayed? Wouldn’t you love to know?
When I was young, and before I came to both love and fear ADONAI, I was put on birth control at my mother’s behest. At only 15 years old! Premarital sex among teenagers had become commonplace, especially since the “free love generation” of the ‘60s. My mother was just trying to look out for me, but she probably went about it in the wrong way. She knew I had a steady boyfriend and quickly had a talk with me about the dangers of becoming pregnant and “ruining my life” before I even graduated high school.
Thankfully, God introduced me to My Savior, Messiah Yeshua, and I can now look back at those days knowing I am forgiven. And, miraculously, by reading my Bible and believing in His forgiveness, He helped me be a better example to my own children so they didn’t follow the same trajectory. Instead, they found spouses and got married before they became sexually active and suffered the emotional turmoil of being physically connected to someone without the covenant of marriage to protect them from a broken heart.
And while pre-marital sex is still an issue, there’s another matter that has begun weighing on my heart. I’m finding it troubling today that young people – especially women – are being targeted with negative propaganda about being able to get pregnant at all! Human fertility problems seem to fast becoming a huge source of stress for young married couples. When did that even become a thing? In my generation, everyone talked about the things to do NOT to wind up pregnant. Now, it’s the opposite! How weird is that?
So now young people are afraid they CAN’T get pregnant and they are spending thousands of dollars to make themselves pregnant? Doctors are telling them that they have a bunch of disorders, or that their bodies aren’t well enough to sustain pregnancy. I would like to just provide a short – and sweet – reality check if you will.
Babies are a gift from God.
Parenting a child is an honor and a privilege, not to be taken lightly. Nor is parenting a right, especially on demand. My heart just breaks watching couples struggle to get pregnant, waiting and hoping each month, then bitterly disappointed. But, honestly today in this generation, the fertility clinics are just plain demoralizing. Please know, I get it, I know the ‘why.’ But, I am just not sure all the tests and procedures and medical intervention is truly worth it. In fact, I am not sure it is psychologically healthy to put that kind of pressure on a couple at all!
No amount of medical intervention can create life apart from God. And no bad reports from a doctor – about how insufficient your physical ability to reproduce may be – can stop God from giving you a child that He WANTS you to have. The issue at hand, from 3400 years ago until today, is are we prepared to trust God with what He wants to give us – when He wants to give to us and how He wants to give to us.
The only part we can play in having a child is to refuse. We can abstain, we can wait, and horrifically – we can abort. But, we cannot create human life because that is God’s choice, God’s preview, God’s plan. That is one of the greatest, most resounding lessons in the Bible overall, that God is the giver of life and the author and finisher of our faith. The same God that opened Rebecca’s womb, and Sarah’s womb, and Hannah’s womb, and filled Miriam’s womb by the Holy Spirit can open ANY womb He chooses. Human seed is His Creation in us, not something we can manufacture. And, the fruit of the womb is formed by God, from conception.
There is Hope.
Please know that I fully grasp the weight of my words on this page. A barren womb is one of the most heart wrenching conditions any couple can face. But, without a doubt, I assure you, God knows what you are going through and God is the best source of strength and medical intervention. I am not saying that you should not seek medical help. I am only saying that DON’T BELIEVE the lie that your body is the ‘problem.’
If I may, do as the Bible teaches. Pray to God to be able to conceive. Obey God to enable Him to open your womb. Believe He can prepare a sacred space for life to grow inside you. Encourage each other that God’s will for your marriage is guaranteed the best possible outcome if you are seeking Him together in prayer. Remember that good parents take time to grow, too.
Finally, know for certain that if God created you to be parents, then He WILL provide you a child to love. Whether from your own body or not, there are always children desperately seeking mothers and fathers.
I should know. I was one of them.